Archive for February, 2011
“Do not quarrel … with your lot in life. Do not complain of its never-ceasing cares, its petty environment, the vexations you have to stand, the small and sordid souls you have to live and work with… That is the practice which God appoints you; and it is having its work in making you patient, and humble, and generous, and unselfish, and kind, and courteous. Do not grudge the hand that is molding the still too shapeless image within you. It is growing more beautiful though you see it not, and every touch of temptation may add to its perfection. Therefore keep in the midst of life [and marriage!]. Do not isolate yourself. Be among [people], and among things, and among troubles, and difficulties, and obstacles.”
Taken from Henry Drummond’s The Greatest Thing in the World
Great table on afaithtoliveby, taken from The Porn Trap by Wendy Maltz, illustrating the damage that unhealthy sexuality causes:
|Godly/Healthy Sexuality||Pornography/Unhealthy sexuality|
|Sharing with someone||“Doing to” someone|
|Enhancing your identity||Compromises your identity|
|Emotional bonding||Emotional separateness|
|Spiritual unity||Spiritual separateness|
|Morally saturated||Free of moral convention|
|Communication is essential||Communication is optional|
|Biblical boundaries||Has no limits|
|Involves all of the person||Is visual and genital|
|Naturally drives us toward intimacy||Unnaturally drives us toward compulsions|
|National drives toward sanctification||Unnaturally drives towards depravity|
|Matures into responsible habits||Escalates toward irresponsible risks|
|Nurtures the spouse||Hurts the partner|
|Is an expression of love||Is an expression of usefulness|
|Honors the image/imaging of God in you||Dishonors the image/imaging of God in you|
|Honors the image/imaging of God in spouse||Dishonors the image/imaging of God in another|
|Provides emotional, moral, psychological and relational clarity||Produces emotional, moral, psychological and relational confusion|
I’m so looking forward to my new body that I’m gonna get.
One where my hands don’t feel tight.
Where my brow doesn’t furrow.
Where my calf muscles don’t ache.
Where my back isn’t sore.
Where my hip can move freely without getting stuck.
Where my legs are the same length.
Where my toes aren’t turned over.
Where any shoes will fit.
I will run to you as fast as I can.
In that place where things no longer break or decay.
Where nobody goes hungry.
Where there is no more pain.
Where people really care for one another.
Where all things will be made right.
No more pretending I’m ok when I’m not.
No more feeling guilty about actually feeling ok during difficult times.
Meanwhile help us so we can be free to love.
My wife Winnie told me this today which really made me think:
Rules + Regulations – Relationship = Resentment + Rebellion
With my eldest kid, I find it easy to have either have too many rules and forget the relationship component, or all fun and no rules. So hard to get it right. Sam often asks why Darth Vador became bad. I need to look that up as I forgot; perhaps his Dad have too many rules without love? I’m pretty sure Obi Wan really held him back.
I recall Taxes – Representation = Resentment and Rebellion too…
Review of Marnie Ferree’s No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2010/04/female_sex_addict_not_an_oxymo.html
“For one, women sex addicts often face a double dose of shame because they believe they as women aren’t supposed to have sexual sin. And because the number of female addicts is relatively small (expert Patrick Carnes estimates 3 percent of the U.S. population, with male addicts composing 8 percent), few books and recovery groups are available. “I tell some of my colleagues, such as Mark Laaser, ‘you wrote a great book, but the pronouns are wrong,’ ” says Ferree.”
She mentions that sex addiction (both male and female) is an intimacy disorder: the search for “love, touch, affirmation, affection, and approval.”