Archive for category Raising Kids
Listen Son, I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little hand crumpled under your cheek
and blonde curls sticky over your wet forehead. I have broken into your room alone. Just a few
minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me.
Guilty, I came to your bedside.
There are things which I am thinking, son; I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you
were dressing for school because you gave your face a mere dab with the towel. I took you to
task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the
At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You
put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. As you started off to
play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” I
frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”.
Then it began all over again late this afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down
on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your socks. I humiliated you before your
friends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Socks were expensive, and if you had to buy
them you would be more careful! Imagine that son, from a father.
Do you remember later, when I was reading in the library, how you came timidly, with
sort of a hurt look in your eyes? I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption; you
hesitated at the door. “What is it that you want?” I snapped.
You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, threw your arms around my
neck and kissed me, your small arms tightened with affection that God had set blooming in your
heart, which even neglect could not wither. Then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.
Well, Son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible
sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, or
reprimanding; this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you: it
was that I expected too much of you. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.
There is so much that was good, fine and true in your character. The little heart of yours
was as big as the dawn itself over the hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush
in and kiss me good night. Nothing else mattered tonight. Son, I have come to your beside in the
darkness, I have knelt there, ashamed!
It is a feeble atonement; I know that you would not understand these things which I have
told you in the waking hours. Tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, suffer
when you suffer and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I
will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy–a little boy.”
I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, Son, crumpled and
weary in your bed. I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms,
your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much!
Instead of condemning and criticizing others, perhaps we it would be better to try to understand them, to try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness, rather than contempt…!!!
2. The parent’s responsibility at home:
3. The child’s responsibility to the parent:
4. The when of Biblical Courtship:
5. God’s purpose for marriage:
Love this track from 1991 about family, fatherhood, cheating, repentance, forgiveness…
Good article on CNN which says with enough Internet usage, the structure of our brains can actually physically change. Its easier to go online than deal with real life people and tasks.
Levy, a professor with the Information School at the University of Washington, tells the story of giving a speech at a high-tech company. Afterwards at lunch, an employee sheepishly told him how the night before his wife had asked him to give their young daughter a bath. Instead of enjoying the time with his child, he spent the time on his phone, texting and returning emails. He didn’t have to work — it was just that the urge to use the phone was more irresistible than the child in the tub.
“It’s really ubiquitous,” says Cash, a counselor who treats people who have trouble giving up their gadgets. “We can’t just sit quietly and wait for a bus, and that’s too bad, because our brains need that down time to rest, to process things.”
Has some good suggestions on how to cope with popcorn brain:
Some people can easily switch from the constant popping of online life to the slower pace of the real world. If you’re not one of those people and the slow pace makes you jittery, here are some tips:
1. Keep a record of your online life
Keep track of how much time you spend online, and what you’re doing with it, Levy suggests. Note how you feel before and during your time at the computer.
“Everyone I’ve told to do this has come back with personal realizations,” he says. “Very commonly, people will say they tend to go online when they’re feeling anxious or bored.”
2. Set time limits for your Internet use
Give yourself a specific time period – say two hours – to answer personal emails, update your Facebook page, and check texts, Cash suggests. After that, it’s time to turn the computer (or phone) off and do something offline.
3. Stare out the window
Take two minutes to stare out the window. Levy says this can help train your brain to slow down a bit.
4. Establish “free-times”
In a blog on Psychology Today, psychologist Robert Leahy recommends experimenting with BlackBerry free times. “For example, “I won’t check my messages between 6 and 9 p.m.,” he writes. Leahy, director of the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy also recommends rewarding yourself for every hour that you don’t check. “Tell yourself that you are reclaiming your life,” he wrote.
5. Phone a friend
Bloggers on WikiHow have been sharing their own list of tips on how to wean themselves off of everything from Internet searching to texting. One person suggests phoning a friend instead of sending instant messages. “Call a friend and ask them to go outside for at least 3 hours a day,” they write. “This will distract you from the computer.”
6. Get tested
According to the Center for Internet and Technology Addiction, you may have a problem if loved ones are becoming troubled with the amount of time you are devoting to the Internet or if you experience guilt or shame. They offer a virtual Internet addiction test that can help you determine whether it might be time to shut down, logoff or change your IM status to “away.”
Published: May 18, 2011
“Last week my wife and I told our 13-year-old daughter she could join Facebook. Within a few hours she had accumulated 171 friends, and I felt a little as if I had passed my child a pipe of crystal meth. I don’t mean to be a spoilsport, and I don’t think I’m a Luddite. I edit a newspaper that has embraced new media with creative, prizewinning gusto. I get that the Web reaches and engages a vast, global audience, that it invites participation and facilitates — up to a point — newsgathering. But before we succumb to digital idolatry, we should consider that innovation often comes at a price. And sometimes I wonder if the price is a piece of ourselves…” [Read More]